Creating is Infinitely Harder than Complaining

Yesterday, I expressed doubt.  

It's a gigantic waste of time -- but I did it.

And, in response, my friend Andrea said, "Listen, this is just a time. It will become another time soon and by then, I hope you've realized that you are letting go of the old way. The old way was to react to the things that came your way, complain about the style or substance of these opportunities and then act or ignore."

YES, I realized -- I have settled into a passive way of accepting or rejecting things professionally.

The old way, she explained, had me submitting to someone else's agenda or feeling it was my fate to be unchallenged or discouraged. 

But, the new way is an act of creation each day, she said. And that takes a fully-conscious, radical shift in thinking, prioritizing and responsibility. 

Switching the way we view our opportunity to contribute in this world is a truly significant experience, she said. She said I needed to create the opportunities in which I could thrive, use my talents, feel joyful and give something meaningful back to the world and do do anything less or complain about the opportunities I am or am not getting was not going to resonate for me any longer.

This conversation has colored my world. Now, everything in my life, I examine and think, "Did I passively accept that? Did I create and nurture that? Can I joyfully own it now?" 

It's indescribably powerful and it presents a kind of truth that can't be denied once you've experienced it. I won't entertain doubt again soon -- fear maybe -- but not doubt, because who could be more trustworthy with my life than me? 

Andrea's response resonated with me and continues to ring in my ear the way wisdom sometimes does.

Happy Birthday, Lulu!

Thirty years ago today, I got the most generous gift anyone has ever given me: A sister! 

Now, I could make your head spin talking about the things to love about my sister -- and, now that she is a woman, she is RADIANT in every way. I am so proud and so grateful she is mine and I will feel I have done my job thus far if she knows that (I will guess she does!)

A true tribute to my sister might skip the Hallmark moments of it all and link to a couple of the things we have laughed hardest about in the last few years... because the most generous gift anyone ever gave her --- was a brilliant sense of humor and comic timing!! 

• I could care less if this has or has not proven to be a fake, it's funny when the anchorman says "country-ass town."
• Chuck Norris basically offered us an entire afternoon of comedy.
• It's not recent comedy, but it's still comedy... this was our first concert. That video is really a treat -- about 45 seconds in he starts singing -- yes!
• This letter still makes us laugh until we cry. Poor Lulu, she always has to sit next to the weirdos and the bathrooms.
• I don't know why, but Rob Thomas made us laugh pretty hard once. He really isn't funny, it was more a timing thing.
• What can be funnier than The Office?
• My sister could hardly get the words out when she called to ask me if I had seen this commercial.

So, happy birthday sissy. I love you and I thank you for the laughs!

Taking a Breath in this Moment

"There are only two tragedies in life: 

one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."  - Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde is bitter, and this quote is the least of the proof of that fact. I wonder what wish it was that -- once granted -- cursed him so deeply. 

And, at the same time, I get what he's saying here.

How many times have you gotten something you wanted, only to immediately start thinking about the next thing instead of enjoying it? I've done it dozens of times in both shallow and spiritual ways. And, I regret it.

So, is it possible to avoid the sense of tragedy Wilde describes? Or is this the human condition, to suffer either way?

I am thinking about how to keep the deep gratitude in my heart for the big and small things I have wished for for so long -- some of which I now have. 

I want to do two things that may not even be possible: I want to appreciate and desire my current outcomes like I did before they were mine, and at the same time love them like I've always had them. To try to avoid the tragedies of unmet expectations or taking anything for granted, my current mantra is "Thank you." I try to prevent everyday life from dulling the sheen on my blessings and at the same time, keep me from making my current searches painfully consuming.

It does change a person to get what she wants. In fact, it is changing me wholly. And, in good ways. I also will acknowledge the sadness of the "getting" -- but not live in the mindset of a necessary struggle or the fantasy of a simplistic and specific outcome. I'm so glad I've had my wishes answered -- it's the joy (not the tragedy) of my life. Now, I only need to live in my current reality and be brave enough to enjoy it. Sorry, Oscar.

Cheers... to our blessings!